I really wish that I have an extra day of weekend...I wish I don't have to go back tonight..
I didn't have enough time spent with hubby, he just got back from Jogja 10pm last night, and today a whole day of work, and I'm leaving tonight (again!) instead of Monday morning.
Yes, I am calculative, I calculate the hours I can spend with him each weekend (sleeping does not count), and this week is below adequate. I come to realize (not that I have not realized before) that one cannot have everything in life. I want a job that pays me quite good, yet I can see my husband every day.. but that it ideal right? How I envy those who have good jobs, good pay and have their husbands by their side each day.
I am not talking about those female teachers married to their businessman/doctor/lawyer/engineer husbands. I am talking about cases where both husband and wife works in MNCs. No matter how busy...you still come back home to your other half. I, on the other hand, come back to an empty room. It's not that I don't like socializing or going out, but many times, I would rather spend time doing things (such as cooking, washing car, taking a stroll at the park) with my husband. In fact, if we are both doing our own stuff, just having each other around is sufficient.
I shouldn't be complaining, I should be giving thanks that I have a good job. So am I to just be contented and not want for more? If only, circumstances are different, if only we can catch a glimpse of what God's plan for us are. I honestly do not know whether working in the government sector is good...if we keep thinking that it's secure and one will not be out of job should there be recession... then working in government is good. But there is no bonus, no profit sharing, so you still think it is good? You get free hospital fee, people from private sector pays only RM1when to go to government hospital. Even I go to private clinic, although my dad is a government servant, who can wait?
Many times, I conclude that the only way to see this, is to pray and seek God for His direction. I sometimes, do not know how to pray, to pray that hubby gets transferred to Pg? to pray that he can quit government to work in private? If I pray that he gets transferred to Pg, the problem does not end there, he will still have to move as long as he is with the government. I don't think that I am strong enough (or will ever be) to keep living apart. Then when the kids come along, how? I do not want either one of us to be the 'weekend' parent.
And when I start to think of such complicated things, I am reminded that no matter how difficult I think my life is, there is always someone in a worst situation than I am...the woman whose husband had died, and she has to take care of her child, or the newly-married woman whose husband just passed away, or the couple that is separated by distance as one is overseas.
Bottom line is.....Be thankful...and keep praying..
